late night diaries deux

melt into me...blur the lines and let us be.
forget the tainted reality and just...... breathe,
remember who we are to be, infinite.
love more pure than Heaven and solid as stone.
though shaped through heartache and mistrust...
our eyes met and hearts beat, synchronized.
love drunk and content with it.
your smell left on my sheets as if its supposed to be there.
your curls wrapped around my fingers
my legs wrapped around your waist.
we fit.






just like you, short&sweet

late night diaries...

its been one of those days/weeks/months where its like I'm just waking up and my eyes are still squinty, vision blurry and I can't quite blink it away.  almost like the answers are right there, on the tip of my tongue and..............they just aren't making sense to me yet.  words slurred because im intoxicated, sloppy with the reality that I endure and cant get sober quick enough before time catches up to me again... not intentionally negative just playing the cards i've been dealt...with no fluffy expectations(hi my name is Jessica and I'm a realist)

i've managed to fall in love, lose it and cling to it anyway, fall in lust with distraction, date liquid courage, have late night affairs with my remote control, cheat on my common sense with my emotional personality, bat my eyelashes at seductive situations, make love to the ideas of past romance, fuck complete strangers with my words, and still end up at home, alone, with my lap top writing late night diary entries to keep me entertained.  is there no such thing as intrigue anymore?  or have I analyzed, observed and compiled every possiblity to find that my mind is tired and my interest is lacking?  impossible. too many possibilities left to discover and destroy and rebuild again.  like a mad scientist in her lab, I plan to forever create until words stop roaming my mind and my lips stop moving (you dont have to like it), producing real shit, the ideas that make you think and wonder "what if"...because you never really know what you are getting into until its too late to turn back... is it wrong for me to say that i enjoy that most?  or typical of my sometimes manic self to climax from the distortion and chaos that is eternal and sometimes unforgiving...?   i would apologize for rambling, but this is the truest illustration of my current state....im an organized chaos.  there are no clear cut explanations for what my mind/heart/soul feel only bits of thought gathered together forming incomplete ideas that are who I am....right now.  and instead of looking for answers, i have gotten quite comfortable in this grey area of uncertainty...nestling myself in its neck, and tasting the sweetness of it which tastes a lot like rum and coke mixed with insecurity and a splash of what now?  no worries though, i have set the pace and i'm right on track for.......