Silence Speaks In Volumes

sitting in a quiet room...i allow the silence to consume me....no whispering...no background noise...no heavy breathing. just me and silence...stillness. and in this silence i can still feel the way we felt, together. if i listen close enough, the emptiness that occupies the air surrounding me has a voice and it speaks to me...ironically loud and clear. it tells me that i have been left here alone, questioning who i am and who i was with you....and with her...and that other girl....and them. the quiet allows me to hear the deep past and the present....i listen for the future, but it wont tell me anything. it offers no fair warning....no caution signs....it just remains silent. and with my ears i search for answers....eyes closed, hands in my lap....meditate. i so badly want to hear the voice of silence again....so i sit there. completely frozen with anticipation and eagerly await the whispers of nothingness. breathe in....breathe out. suddenly silence vanishes and i hear everything. jumbled together are the conversations we had....our laughter....our favorite songs.......... i hear you saying how beautiful you think my eyes are...especially when they are looking right back into yours. i hear my bedsheets being ripped from my bed...swished around us on the floor....i hear that one night when you had me pinned against the wall and all i could do was dig my nails into the white paint and scratch my moans into it. i hear us kissing....moaning...breathing the same air. i hear us...when we were we and us still existed. and again...suddenly it was gone. silence was muted and spoke of nothing. it was as if for a moment my ears were like hands and they lost grip of the beautiful sounds that we were. not noises...but sounds, melodies, songs, stories, poems, sonnets, symphonies............and the emptiness returned again. i want to get lost in the silence, so that i can be still in our memories....because silence speaks in volumes