oh...the L word.
which word could i possibly be puzzled about today? LUST? LOVE? LESBIAN? LONELY? LAZY? LESS THAN ENOUGH? or could i be thinking about all of the above...i lust for the feeling of love and have been categorized by so many as a lesbian because men just cant get it right...so i must be lonely and just settle for the caress of a woman because its easy...is that where lazy comes from? and with my feelings of inadequacy i feel less than enough to please you...or anyone. so which word has my mind wrapped in knots and torn into pieces at the very same time? NO! I dont only love because i have heard it feels good. NO! i dont ache for her touch because i cant have his...but YES i do settle. I am so out of balance and confused...dazed by my everyday dissapointments... coming home to a not so "home sweet home". i ignore my desires and sacrifice my happily ever afters for you....for what could be someday. i settle for good enough instead of waiting for greatness. i sing songs of love but cry oceans. looking in the mirrow i shake my head and question myself...i let out a sigh and pretend im okay. i have pretended for so long that i have almost convinced myself that there is nothing wrong...but everything is wrong. when will i stop pretending
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