if you dont know, now you know...

To whoever actually comes to my blog, first let me say thanks!!! :) hope yo have enjoyed my random ramblings, half-written poems, and completed pieces.
Now that I got that out of the way....if you have never heard of this amazing woman and her music, you are truly missing out.
Google her (after you read all my blogs first of course lol).... Her name is Amel Larrieux. Listen to her song "For Real" ....if there's ever a moment when you don't know what love is, listen to this and I promise you will feel something.

Enjoy.
Love,
me.

Revolution

Hollow...awaiting a refill of what I am 'suppose' to be made of...can someone tell me what that is please? I seemed to have forgotten, or maybe I lost it when we rolled around in my sheets...no worries, ill find it.....but until I do, let's try and figure it out together. The space is just big enough for the both of us, well kind of. It’s big enough for the idea of us, what I created and who I was because of this. I became this 'love addict'....drunk off love, or being in love....still intoxicated so I can't really remember...but I'm sure it was something like that until I was robbed of my core and shaken from the outside in...Wait! I think I found it....no false alarm...still searching. I only recently noticed this empty space, physically speaking.  Or is it that I just decided to leave denial and accept what I have known all along…? Note to self: denial is not a safe haven. I knew when it happened, I felt the cold, hard feeling of lonely, it felt like winter…but until I reached inside myself I had no clue how deep this ran.  Sorry, denial again. I knew exactly how deep.  It was a through and through wound, like a bullet that never stopped, eviscerating all that I had strived to be. What I was made of resided beside my heart, they were best friends.  Never one without the other…but when my heart kept breaking, who I was grew tired.  Tired of the crying,the complaining, the hurt…the constant “what did I do wrong” questions to myself…this inner me just couldn’t take it anymore, because it knew better. This existence of who I was suppose to be was fed up.  Left me behind to fend for myself.  Rebuild myself, my heart, my being. Each day I am closer to learning who I am, and what I am to become. Denial no more…This is the revolution of me.

Girl Meets Girl

When girl meets girl...
Its that moment right before you smile when the warm corners of your mouth start to curl up...
When the wings of the butterflies in your belly stretch out just before taking frantic flight....
Its that feeling of spring's first sunrise, the warmth peaking thru the curtains kissing the nape of your neck while you're still dreaming.....
When girl meets girl...
You can feel that something in the sole of your feet all the way up thru the tips of your fingers.
Its a tingling and a burning, its an excitement that inspires a cold sweat...dampening your palms and makes your mouth forget how to form words right.
Your mind forgets your name for a moment and you are just caught up in that existance, her being.
Its intensity, its passion, its anxiety....its a speechless moment because words truly can not describe.
When girl meets girl...
Its a subtle fire and a cool breeze. Each moving in harmony with each other, dancing together for that perfect balance because they understand each other .........to be continued

Like a moth to a...

(to be continued)

Ugh...

Turning my words/thoughts/broken emotion into fluid poetry just isnt as easy as it used to be. Competing with my internal, and always losing keeps me away from a pen and paper, because right now, they appear to be hazardous to my mental health

Carried Away

i got carried away today, thinking about how flawless our love was.
how timeless it felt when we would lay there day after day, sun turn to moon turn to sun again.
taking breaks from our sweat only to shower.
never hungry because i was filled with you, appetite complete
no need for water, each kiss quenched my every thirst.
no time for sleep because i never dare to take my eyes off of you.
and even if they closed for just a moment, i was secretly peaking thru my eyelashes
when you told me not to look.

i loved you like polka dot skirts and silver hoop earrings.
i loved you like new socks on my cold feet...like floetry and maxwell...i loved you like soul music.
i loved you for reasons known and unexplained.
i loved you for moments when i said nothing and you understood what i was saying.

and if i ever forgot, you reminded me just how good i look in those jeans
and whispered how soft my skin was...
you made sure i never forgot how you loved me.
appreciated my long nights and early mornings
because you know if i could be with you all day i would work overtime, taking no lunch breaks

because i loved you like soul music,
like my favorite beat...lyrically ill and untouchable
your song was made for me because its bass is my heartbeart.
and now im walking down the street,
getting carried away in my polka dot skirt and my silver hoop earrings
listening to my soul music and remembering a time when time was timeless...

(s)mell

I smelled this smell, and I thought of you. So I puffed out my cheeks and filled them with this smell, this aroma....I blew with all my strength, pushing that smell up into the atmosphere....making it dance up into the Heavens where you reside, so that maybe you would inhale it and know that it was from me. And for my memories, I took an old mason jar and filled it with that unique scent and sat it next to my bed so that I can can be reminded of you...so that even when you aren'e right here, you aren't really gone either.



(to you)