Like a moth to a...

(to be continued)

Ugh...

Turning my words/thoughts/broken emotion into fluid poetry just isnt as easy as it used to be. Competing with my internal, and always losing keeps me away from a pen and paper, because right now, they appear to be hazardous to my mental health

Carried Away

i got carried away today, thinking about how flawless our love was.
how timeless it felt when we would lay there day after day, sun turn to moon turn to sun again.
taking breaks from our sweat only to shower.
never hungry because i was filled with you, appetite complete
no need for water, each kiss quenched my every thirst.
no time for sleep because i never dare to take my eyes off of you.
and even if they closed for just a moment, i was secretly peaking thru my eyelashes
when you told me not to look.

i loved you like polka dot skirts and silver hoop earrings.
i loved you like new socks on my cold feet...like floetry and maxwell...i loved you like soul music.
i loved you for reasons known and unexplained.
i loved you for moments when i said nothing and you understood what i was saying.

and if i ever forgot, you reminded me just how good i look in those jeans
and whispered how soft my skin was...
you made sure i never forgot how you loved me.
appreciated my long nights and early mornings
because you know if i could be with you all day i would work overtime, taking no lunch breaks

because i loved you like soul music,
like my favorite beat...lyrically ill and untouchable
your song was made for me because its bass is my heartbeart.
and now im walking down the street,
getting carried away in my polka dot skirt and my silver hoop earrings
listening to my soul music and remembering a time when time was timeless...

(s)mell

I smelled this smell, and I thought of you. So I puffed out my cheeks and filled them with this smell, this aroma....I blew with all my strength, pushing that smell up into the atmosphere....making it dance up into the Heavens where you reside, so that maybe you would inhale it and know that it was from me. And for my memories, I took an old mason jar and filled it with that unique scent and sat it next to my bed so that I can can be reminded of you...so that even when you aren'e right here, you aren't really gone either.



(to you)

My Torture.....

(Esthero - My Torture)

For anyone who doesnt know this woman and her music, you are truly missing out.  She is grimy, raw, jazzy, sensual and real.  unlike the radio, her music is good.  its deep...penetrating, makes the wheel turn in your mind and gets your head bobbin' at the same time.  i am sititng at work now. listening to her track "my torture".  you know its a good song if you put it on repeat to make sure you dont miss what she is saying to you.  Its one of those, "gotta here every word" songs.  which brings me to this point...have you ever reached the point where loving someone ended up being your own personal torture?  loving so deep and not being able to have that love returned equally....or maybe loving the wrong person even though it feels like you are doing it for all the right reasons?  who has been your personal heaven and hell?  your torture....your pleasure and pain.

Question 2?

Is it possible to ever fall in love as deeply as you did the very first time?  - or - Once you have fallen out of love with someone, can you ever fall back in love and it be better than the first time you fell?

raindrops

(outside of my building )

im up early again for a couple extra hours at work...and lucky me! i get to stare out the window and the rare AZ weather that is goin on right now.  it is beautifully overcast, cool winds and sprinkling.  i love this weather more than you know and i cant wait to get home, get comfy and have a cup of coffee and just breathe in the rain air.